[Sorrel smiled, in that soft, beatific way of his, and uncurled so that he could reach and lay one blanket-warmed hand on Adasse's cheek.]
Good. You weren't alone. That's.... It's kind of messed up, isn't it? I feel like I ought to be jealous. [He laughs, a little bitter, but in relief as much as the obvious self-deprication] But I'm just happy... That you weren't all alone.
[The way Sorrel had been, separated from Adasse and Beleth both, when he had returned to the clan. All alone, with his sorrow and his demons, in the dark.]
[Adasse felt his heart thump harder at the sight of that smile. That smile got him every single time. He rubbed his cheek against Sorrel's hand like a cat, even as he shook his head a little.]
The only time I was ever alone was when I was abandoned on the side of the road to die by two human servants, back during the Fifth Blight. Even then, that was only for a few days until I was found, and brought to Kirkwall.
[It's a brittle thought, like a nail put through an egg. Sorrel's smile falters, then fades, and he sighs; the day rises up in memory like bile, Sorrel's own panting terror stalking the halls, the low background of screams carrying through floors, and windows. Adasse's trembling courage, bright-eyed, pale of cheek, but determined for Sorrel's sake. Gods, what a monster he'd been to ask it of him.
I don't desrve you, Sorrel thought, not for the first time, and presed a kiss against Agasse's collarbone. He doesn't know what to say to that.]
[Adasse winced at the way Sorrel's face fell - why did he do this? Why did he open his big mouth and ruin everything? He sighed and dragged his fingers through Sorrel's hair again.]
The longest. I am glad it's ending here, with you.
[It's an apology, that caress, and Sorrel accepts it without words, closing his eyes and trying to let the ache fall away, as much as it can. His smile, when it returns, is his own apology, for taking it to heart, for being so easily sorrowed. Kirkwall wears on him, and it's hard to recover, when he stumbles. But he isn't alone.]
I love you.
[Half-unintentional, a broken whisper, the simple truth. But he needed Adasse to hear it, to know it for the reality of the world, and no fade-shadow or dream.]
[Adasse smiles at that - big, broad and warm, as his hand moves through Sorrelean's soft auburn hair once more. He curved his fingertips around Sorrel's ear, stroking gently as he whispered.]
I know you will, sweetheart. I know I'm safe, as long as I'm with you. You're my home, darling. My harbor.
I'm a lot of things, lately. [He's teasing, if teasing can be a tone even when it's mumbled into the dark over one's heart.] I like... when you're my Emerald Knight. Maybe if Coco was... one of those giant nugs. With Halla horns?
[That's a thought. Coco with halla horns, carved in whorls and peaks, lovely and deadly both. Though, Sorrel can't imagine Coco killing anything; he reaches up to stroke Coco's soft pink hide where he lays, curled up on what is technically Sorrel's pillow.]
Hey, Adasse? Can we...maybe look for a house outside the Gallows? I need to be here most of the time, I just... I...
[It's easier to voice fears in the dark, where he can't see if he's being judged or not. Even so, he struggles for words, stuttering along in fits and stops.]
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Good. You weren't alone. That's.... It's kind of messed up, isn't it? I feel like I ought to be jealous. [He laughs, a little bitter, but in relief as much as the obvious self-deprication] But I'm just happy... That you weren't all alone.
[The way Sorrel had been, separated from Adasse and Beleth both, when he had returned to the clan. All alone, with his sorrow and his demons, in the dark.]
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The only time I was ever alone was when I was abandoned on the side of the road to die by two human servants, back during the Fifth Blight. Even then, that was only for a few days until I was found, and brought to Kirkwall.
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I don't desrve you, Sorrel thought, not for the first time, and presed a kiss against Agasse's collarbone. He doesn't know what to say to that.]
It's... been a long day, huh?
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The longest. I am glad it's ending here, with you.
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I love you.
[Half-unintentional, a broken whisper, the simple truth. But he needed Adasse to hear it, to know it for the reality of the world, and no fade-shadow or dream.]
I'll keep you safe, vhenan. Don't worry.
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I know you will, sweetheart. I know I'm safe, as long as I'm with you. You're my home, darling. My harbor.
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[That's a thought. Coco with halla horns, carved in whorls and peaks, lovely and deadly both. Though, Sorrel can't imagine Coco killing anything; he reaches up to stroke Coco's soft pink hide where he lays, curled up on what is technically Sorrel's pillow.]
Hey, Adasse? Can we...maybe look for a house outside the Gallows? I need to be here most of the time, I just... I...
[It's easier to voice fears in the dark, where he can't see if he's being judged or not. Even so, he struggles for words, stuttering along in fits and stops.]
...Today, I saw. Them. The... the ones who...